April 20, 2012 in Features

The Slice: Here’s your license to talk suggestively

By The Spokesman-Review
 
The Spokesman-Review photo

Paul Turner, Spokesman-Review columnist.
(Full-size photo)

You might have seen those license plate frames that say “Nurses have more patients.”

They have been around a while. Well, the first time Carolyn Terry saw one, part of the plate-holder was missing and it was on an Idaho tag.

The result, to Terry’s eye, was “Nurses have more famous potatoes.”

Which sounds a bit suggestive. You know, as in “Hey, I gotcher famous potatoes right here. Stat.”

But I can assure you that Terry, widow of the late bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Spokane, doesn’t talk like that. So let’s move on.

(Still, if you feel a need to share any nurse/produce humor with The Slice, go ahead.)

Speaking of nurses: Neil Schwaiger, an RN in Moses Lake, saw the question about superstitions along the lines of baseball players not talking about a no-hitter in progress.

“I have been a nurse for 31 years and you never use the Q word (quiet) when talking about the Emergency department,” he wrote. “You might say that ‘The chaos is controlled,’ or ‘The lid is on the Cuisinart for now,’ but to use the Q word is to invite disaster.”

School teacher Anne Remien had one. “Any teacher will tell you to be careful giving a student an award for good behavior,” she wrote. “It always seems to end up with said student breaking one rule or another.”

And longtime mountain biker Fritz Stout said you absolutely shouldn’t say things like “I can’t believe nobody has had a flat tire” while a group ride is still in progress.

Jan Jesberger to block: One of my Idaho readers was mystified by the question about having back all the hours spent watching TV’s “The Hollywood Squares.”

“Why would we want those hours back?” she wrote, noting that watching the comedic game-show was time well spent.

Pat Cadagan agreed. “Hilarious show.”

Annual reminder: Take Our Daughters to Earth Day is Sunday.

What John Petrofski says to a sneezer: First sneeze: “Bless you.” Second sneeze: “Ditto.” Third sneeze: “Get a mop.”

Today’s Slice question: How could you improve your image?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. The quality of Spokane-area bagels varies.


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