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Best friend’s actions puzzling

Tue., Aug. 14, 2012, midnight

Dear Annie: I am no longer speaking to my best friend of more than 20 years. I thought “Katie” and I were friends for life. She is even godmother to my daughter.

Two years ago, we invited Katie and her husband to my 50th birthday party. My husband offered to let them stay with us so they wouldn’t need a hotel. They did not attend, stating that the 10-day RSVP time frame was not sufficient notice to travel the four-hour drive from their home to ours. I understood that they might not want to take a road trip, but I certainly expected a card or phone call. I received neither.

After a month, Katie called just to chat. It was an uncomfortable conversation. Afterward, she wrote me a letter detailing her excuses for ignoring my birthday and said her card must have been lost in the mail.

In June, we sent them an invite to my daughter’s confirmation. Since Katie is her godmother, we thought she’d want to be there. She declined again via email, and there was no card.

It is unfortunate that my daughter has become a victim of my strained relationship with Katie, who is now ignoring both of us. I keep hoping she will make some type of good-will gesture, a card or a phone call, and all will be forgiven. For my daughter’s sake, I want her godmother to be connected. What would you suggest? – Peeved and Perplexed

Dear Perplexed: We don’t know if Katie wants to sever the friendship or if she is just overwhelmed with other things and has been inattentive. But she is your child’s godmother, and this implies religious responsibilities. Please call Katie and tell her nicely that you understand it’s been difficult for her to stay in touch, and if she would like to be relieved of her obligations to your child, you will release her and name another godparent. Her response will give you a better idea of where you stand.


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