August 24, 2012 in Features

The Slice: Perhaps ‘Hey, you’ could be one size fits all

By The Spokesman-Review
 

Let’s start with a couple more entries in the name game.

“I, too, have an unusual name and when I was young it was a problem because most girls had simple common names like Linda, Carol, Judy and such,” wrote Velta Ashbrook, of Sandpoint. “I have been called Velda, Velma, Valeta, Delta, Zelda, Zelma, Zelta, Belta, Vesta, and even Velveeta. Then there was Velvet, Veltra and Selma.”

In other words, everything but Mulva.

School bus driver Rene Penna has been addressed by a number of names over the years. One little girl innocently called her something different almost every day. That kid’s variations on “Rene” included Lallay, Beerae, Bernay and Murray.

Just wondering: How many exclamation points do you use in a typical day? Have you noticed this number declining as you have gotten older?

Secret identity: “Speaking of wanting to remain anonymous,” wrote Gordon Hensley. “What’s up with all of the folks who cut out or black out the subscriber info stickers on magazines they have donated? You know, the ones you find in laundries or waiting rooms, or employee lunch rooms. Your name and address are public records, especially if you own a home. You get junk mail with that supposedly private information on it all of the time. Most folks have it in the phone book. If someone you don’t know gets your name and address off of an old copy of Tuna Casserole Monthly, can they steal your identity and put a lien on your house or garnish your Social Security check or something? Or maybe they’re just embarrassed to let people know that they read Field and Stream.”

Warm-up question: You probably know that 60-something rocker Tom Petty had a small role in 1997’s post-apocalyptic “The Postman,” which was partly filmed up at Metaline Falls. He plays the mayor of Bridge City. Well, which of his song titles would make the best re-election campaign slogan?

Today’s Slice question: Is one of your deep, dark secrets the fact that you never learned to ride a bicycle?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. A friend’s 5-year-old grandson took the liberty of peeing outside but then came in the house to wash his hands.

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