August 25, 2012 in Features

The Slice: Reserved bar stools don’t count

By The Spokesman-Review

There are two kinds of places in the Inland Northwest.

Regular places.

And places where people feel the need to describe themselves as “year-round” residents.

Let’s move on.

Snack acquisition etiquette: Kimberly Madore’s 2 1/2-year-old granddaughter, Maycee, was over for a visit.

The child asked if there was any milk. Her grandmother, aka Nana, said that there was. And so Maycee told Madore to go get her some.

Madore proceeded to have a little talk with the child about manners.

“I then got up and started for the kitchen,” said Madore.

Maycee grabbed her grandmother’s arm and looked into her eyes. She asked if there might also be some cookies.

Yes, there were cookies. Nana’s place was stocked with milk and cookies.

“Please,” said young Maycee in a heartfelt manner.

“Of course, she got both,” said Madore.

Half a dozen possible reactions to traffic snarls on Interstate 90: 1. “This feels very much like we are a real metro area.” 2. “More people having guns would have prevented this.” 3. “Must be panhandlers or firefighters up ahead.” 4. “I think I’ll send a text about precious bodily fluids.” 5. “I wonder if getting mad would help get things moving again.” 6. “If I get interviewed, I’m going to say my name is Louden Swain.”

One reader wonders: “Is there any way we can replace the word ‘ombudsman’ with ‘advocate’ or some other pronounceable word?” wrote Sandy Tarbox. “Or am I the only one who has trouble with this?”

Probably not. But here’s another question. Can anyone create an anagram by rearranging the letters in “ombudsman”?

Three places where you might have left that missing key: 1. On the counter by that thing near the back door. 2. In the pocket of those pants you had on before taking a shower. 3. Out in the car, in that compartment behind the cup holders.

Today’s Slice question: What do you do when asked to provide a reference for a job hunter about whom you have misgivings?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email If you have a black and white male kitten with a priest-collar color pattern, you could name him Father Chuck O’Malley.

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