August 28, 2012 in Features

The Slice: Just a simple trim enhances curbside appeal

 

By the time you read this, I will have gone and done it.

I’ll have gotten a summer haircut.

It will be stylishly short, wash and wear and ready for action.

Yes, it’s a little late in the game to be getting a summer ’do. But I don’t like to be rushed.

Besides, there are still almost four weeks left in the season.

My expectations for this sporty new coiffure are as follows.

I expect …

To be lighter on my feet.

To be more carefree.

To hear great songs wherever I go.

To look better in my clothes.

People trying to find me to assume that I am at the beach.

My work days to approximate the club scenes in the movie “Bulworth.”

To be surrounded by tiki torches, bags of ice and s’mores.

To spend less time wondering where I put my other pair of glasses and more time wondering if six kegs will be enough.

To spend less time wondering if I have taken my morning meds and more time wondering where we left our swimsuits when we went into the water.

To smell sunscreen, lemonade and medicinal charcoal everywhere I go.

To lead a parade of convertibles, sailboats and Hawaiian shirts.

To be exhausted from dancing.

To stay up past 10 o’clock some nights.

To be constantly having to take off my sunglasses and say, “You know, I’m married.”

So anyway, there’s a reason I am telling you all this.

I regard this haircut as a scientific experiment.

There’s no need to mention any genders here. But I have noted that some people seem to believe that a new hairstyle will change their lives.

I want to see if that is true. Does a little snip-snip-here really have that power?

So after the season is officially over a few weeks from now, I will report on how my summer haircut altered my existence.

Stay tuned.

Campaign slogan for the mayor of Bridge City: Readers said Tom Petty’s character in “The Postman” would almost certainly go with “I Won’t Back Down.” The second most-popular answer was “Even the Losers.”

Warm-up question: Do little kids ever ask about the streetcar rails embedded in South Madison’s pavement between 14th and 16th?

Today’s Slice question: How many times have you said “Let’s get together after Labor Day”?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Denial is one way to deal with a very tall, very dead tree.


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