December 10, 2012 in Features

The Slice: No wonder cats live in confusion

By The Spokesman-Review

Here’s why some cats seem a little crazy.

A number of those felines allowed outside have extensive snack circuits. And because neighbors don’t always know one another, many people have no idea what a visiting cat’s real name might be. So at each stop on the treats tour, the pet is addressed by a different moniker.

Hence the identity crisis and erratic behavior.

Possible STA ad campaigns: 1.) “I’m not poor but I take the bus.” 2.) “I’m not a criminal but I take the bus.” 3.) “Unlike STA’s many Babbitt-esque bashers, I have lived in cities bigger than this and I take the bus.” 4) “Let’s make Spokane about people, not cars.” 5) “People who don’t like bus riders don’t like America.” 6) “I’m a Commie and I take the bus.” 7) “I am not frightened by people who don’t look just like me.” 8) “Hank Greer and Dave Frank ride the bus.” 9) “I was going to wash these pants anyway.” 10) “Single-occupancy is so Hooterville.”

Eggnog is … : A) A gift from heaven. B) Phlegm-ish. C) Ideal for those hoping to put on some weight. D) Other.

Warm-up questions: How much do you need to know about a movie before you will buy a ticket to see it? When in other parts of the country and glancing at local newspapers, do you check to see if Spokane is included in the list of U.S. cities’ high/low temperatures? What was the subject when you found yourself being interviewed by a TV news reporter? Ever done a search on “Spokane” at How often are women in the workplace disappointed when they see a middle aged man they admire stare at a striking young woman in a way that suggests he would like to share genetic information with her? What are the chances the royal baby will spend some time believing that he or she is a corgi? How often is Hooters cited as a point of reference by those giving directions?

Today’s Slice question: What generalization about Spokane is most damaging to perceptions of reality?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email It’s beginning to look as if neither of us will ever be named Sports Illustrated’s sports figure of the year or Time’s person of the year.

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