December 31, 2012 in Features

The Slice: A double dose of the Mondays?

By The Spokesman-Review

Let’s wrap up 2012 with a dollop of reader service.

Today is Monday.

I know it has been a challenge to keep track of the days of the week lately.

But today is Monday. And tomorrow is Sunday. Then comes Monday again.

Wait, that’s not right. Is it?

Let’s move on.

How you react when you hear “I would like to make a toast”: Michele Hegg tends to flash back to her sister’s wedding.

A friend of the groom situated near Hegg’s conservative grandparents stood and began his toast this way: “Fornication …”

He paused and looked down at his notes. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I read that too fast.”

Then he started again. “For an occasion like this …”

When time’s up for tannenbaum: “We let our tree dry out, chop it up and burn it the following Christmas Eve,” wrote Catherine Short. “Amazing how many times we discover overlooked ornaments from the previous year still attached.”

Speaking of Christmas: Dora Z. Davis has a 31-year-old daughter in another part of the country who sends Christmas ornaments made out of animal extremities she harvests from roadkill. She cures them before turning them into seasonal decorations. “My hubby and I call this collection Christmas Tails,” said Davis.

(I guess it’s too late for an “If you are eating breakfast” alert.)

She emphasized that her daughter is compassionate about animals and approaches this undertaking in a respectful way. This year’s ornament comes from a roadkill fox squirrel.

“Folks find them hilarious or hideous,” said Davis.

Collective noun for multiple Subaru Outbacks: “It seems that every Outback has a big dog or two or three in them, hence … A Mechanized Dog Pack,” wrote Roger Martinson.

“Squad.” — Suzanne Harris

“Buttload.” — Jeff Brown

“Crash.” — D. Neil Fitzgerald, Barbara Lee

“Dealership.” — Sherri Hyams

“Kennel.” — C.D. Terry

“Snobble.” — Jim Hirning

Today’s Slice question: On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your 2012?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email Though I remain skeptical, readers offered a variety of benign explanations for the popularity of depictions of Jesus that make him look like someone with northern European ancestry.

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