February 11, 2012 in Features

The Slice: ‘Montana man’ continues to prove he’s a headliner act

By The Spokesman-Review
 

Any S-R reader can tell you that “Spokane man” has been known to get up to some mischief.

Same goes for “Idaho man.” Sometimes you just have to ask, what was he thinking?

But a case could be made that the real character in this neck of the woods is “Montana man.” That dude lives large.

Don’t believe it? OK, well, let’s check this newspaper’s archives for the recent adventures of “Montana man.”

For starters, he was “accused of hitting another man with a piece of firewood.”

Perhaps that’s how they emphasize a point in the Big Sky State.

Then there was the time he pleaded guilty in a “pot-related beating.”

That sounds pretty unmellow. But sometimes Montana man took his lumps, too. Like when he “received minor injuries Wednesday after he fell asleep at the wheel and drove his vehicle off a steep embankment.”

Or when he “was injured after a vehicle turned in front of his motorcycle.”

Or was “attacked by a grizzly bear in Yellowstone National Park.”

So you see, it hasn’t all been a bed of roses for you know who.

No doubt there were few smiles when a certain Montana man “fleeing a prison sentence for drug offenses was captured at the Spokane International Airport.”

Or when he “refused to come out of a house on East Pacific Avenue.”

And I’m sure the police had asked nicely.

But one thing you have to say about Montana man is that he keeps busy.

One day a headline informs us that he “crashes plane” and then on another occasion we learn that he “customizes cowboy hats.”

The guy is versatile, I’ll say that for him.

Of course, it’s really a wonder that he manages to keep on keeping on, especially considering that he “was killed late Friday at a rodeo event.”

Maybe it’s the love of a good woman that sustains him. And speaking of Montana woman, well, that irrepressible lady is one for the books.

Perhaps that’s why a federal judge ordered her held.

Today’s Slice question: If you were to open a local bar/tavern/pub, what would you name it?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. When something is missing in your home and you round up the usual suspects, do toddlers and dogs have the right to be represented by defense counsel?


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