February 13, 2012 in Features

The Slice: Behind wall probably where it belongs

By The Spokesman-Review
 

Readers told about finding all sorts of things behind the walls during remodeling projects.

Old copies of The Spokesman-Review, toys, a gun, marijuana, empty beer bottles, a porn stash – you name it.

But a find reported by Bernadette Powers might be the most flabbergasting.

“When we remodeled our kitchen, we found a scrap of lumber with a penciled note: ‘This house built by A.J. Carr, August 1927.’ We also found a perfectly preserved but totally creepy business card.”

She sent me a photo of it.

The card is from a Spokane heating oil company. It is dark with white lettering. Presumably referring to the fuel oil, it reads “A black business but we treat you white.”

Today’s Slice question: What do you imagine it’s like in the other gender’s public restrooms?

A) Lots of boring sports talk. B) Nonstop crying. C) Intentionally hurtful remarks about how that sweater appears to have shrunk. D) Badgering the boss about inconsequential work stuff when he’s just trying to use the facility.

E) Badgering the boss about inconsequential work stuff when she’s just trying to wash her hands and get out of there. F) A lot of talk about maybe changing hairstyles. G) A lot of talk about sick children. H) Detailed discussions about TV shows you have never watched and Spokane news stories you don’t care about.

I) Free and open commentary on the sounds and air quality there in the restroom. J) Phony compliments about people’s work. K) Dirty jokes. L) People looking around and under everything before badmouthing a colleague.

M) People watching porn. N) People talking on cellphones to those with whom they are having affairs. O) Lots of adjusting, tugging, tucking and random busyness in front of the mirror. P) Co-workers asking, “Do you think this is infected?”

Q) People washing their faces with rough paper towels and mumbling to themselves. R) Gag-inducing clouds of hair products and fragrances. S) Poker. T) Phone parenting from the seated position.

U) People not washing their hands. V) Even smaller small talk. W) Better gossip.

X) Conspiracies and secret handshakes. Y) Displays of quality listening and compassion. Z) Other.

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. STA will operate on a holiday schedule next Monday.


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