Annie’s Mailbox: Stay out of others’ office romance

Dear Annie: I have loved a gay man all my life, and I am now 64, so I know a little something about the problem.

I work in an office where a 35-year-old man is dating a female co-worker who is 50. I believe they both care for each other, but he is concealing his sexual orientation. I happen to know he has a boyfriend in another city.

I have not mentioned this to anyone not only because it could hurt his position in our conservative company, but also because it’s not my business. However, I’ve begun to wonder whether I ought to say something to his girlfriend. She is going through hell. He’s nice to her and takes her out to lunch often, and she reports their doings with stars in her eyes. Then they will fight, and she avoids him while he waits to get back in her good graces.

She doesn’t understand what’s going on, and she’s miserable. I don’t think he’s going to tell her the truth, and at this point, she would be furious if she knew he has been leading her on. What would you suggest? Should I butt in to save her? I still have to work with both of them. – No Name, No City

Dear No Name: We strongly urge you to stay out of this. Your female co-worker realizes she is miserable in this relationship but is still unwilling to break it off. Unless there is physical abuse, relationship issues between co-workers are not your business. It’s very likely that your comments would be resented, and this could damage your work environment.