January 31, 2012 in Features

The Slice: Say (cottage) cheese

Where do you stand when it comes to the white stuff?
By The Spokesman-Review
 

Cottage cheese has its proponents and opponents – and very few in between.
(Full-size photo)

Many opinions and beliefs divide us.

You know the list. No need to repeat it here.

But overlooked in the heated wrangling over contentious public policy issues is an undeniable reality.

The most polarized schism in our society might be over cottage cheese.

Many love the stuff.

Others call it vile.

And, no, we can’t all just get along. Not totally, anyway.

Seemingly innocuous, some would say bland, it might seem strange that these mass-produced curds would elicit passionate condemnation. But cottage cheese haters are not into tolerance.

On the other hand, fans of cottage cheese have been known to enjoy it in a plethora of culinary contexts. Mixed with salads, stirred into chili beans, added to a casserole or simply served by itself, it never fails to be tasty and satisfying.

The haters find all that revolting, of course. In their wincing estimation, the look is awful, the flavor rancid and the mere thought of the fish-eggs consistency triggers their gag reflex.

Large curd vs. small curd? They do not wish to hear about it. They want extremely no curd.

Sometimes, in one of life’s little jests, people with conflicting views about cottage cheese get married.

After a period of mystified head-scratching, a tenuous live-and-let-live calm can be achieved – a cottage cheese détente.

But you know how it is with peace. Just takes one incident to undo years of diplomacy and progress.

The presence of children can complicate this as some homes divide into opposing camps. Eventually, though, most reach some sort of don’t ask/don’t tell accommodation. Except in one particular red-flag circumstance.

Some people who really like this dairy staple enjoy eating it with ketchup. “Gives it a little tang,” they say.

Not surprisingly, cottage cheese haters find this abhorrent. Some use arm-waving and colorful language to describe just how gross it looks.

Other anti-curds zealots simply paraphrase the wise old chief in “Little Big Man.”

“It makes you strange to me.”

Fans of the cold white stuff usually just shrug. “You don’t know what you’re missing.”

Today’s Slice question: Who around here screams the loudest upon being surprised by a spider?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Happy February Eve.


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