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Grave situation upsetting to wife

Dear Annie: My husband, “Mark,” and I have been together for 12 years. It’s a second marriage for both of us. His ex embezzled $30,000 and forged Mark’s name on her credit cards, which she maxed out and he paid for. Their daughter, now 35, calls her father only when she wants money.

Last year, after a health scare, we made our funeral arrangements. Mark’s son died 20 years ago, and at that time, he bought three adjoining cemetery plots. When his ex divorced him, she got the house, car and everything else, but Mark got the burial plots. When his ex and his daughter saw our prepared headstone next to his son’s grave, they became hysterical.

Annie, I am being cremated, and my ashes are being put in Mark’s headstone. The third cemetery plot is for any family member who might want it. They are solely in Mark’s name. Apparently, the ex wanted to be buried next to their son and doesn’t want me in the picture at all.

Now Mark’s daughter barely has anything to do with her father. We feel bad about this but don’t believe we did anything wrong. Any suggestions, or do we just ignore all the drama? – A Grave Situation

Dear Grave Situation: Ignore it. Unless Mark is willing to sell the adjacent plot to his ex-wife, she has no claim on it. If she wants to be buried near her son, she should look at nearby plots and see what she can arrange.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.