July 29, 2012 in Features

The Slice: Not exactly a must ‘C’ hotel

By The Spokesman-Review

Whoever jumped on stage did a bad, bad thing.
(Full-size photo)

On a meandering tour of national parks, Dotty Johnson and her husband stayed in a remote Montana motel where the sign out front touted the lodgings as “CLEAN OOZY.”

“They apparently didn’t have the needed ‘C’ so they used an ‘O’ thinking we wouldn’t notice,” she wrote.

Once in their room, they encountered an “ATTENTION HUNTERS” sign, which one tends to see in places offering four-star accommodations.

Johnson passed along a photo of the motel rules. Here are a few highlights.

“No game carcasses in the rooms unless completely bagged.”

Fair enough.

“If your boots have mud or blood on them, please remove before entering the room.”

That’s just good manners.

“Absolutely no cleaning carcasses!”

Those stains don’t come out.

“If you need rags or towels to wipe anything other than yourselves, please contact management.”

For all your wiping needs.

Among the room amenities were a pair of pliers for turning on the air-conditioner and a fly swatter attractively hung on a wall.

Oozy sounds just about right.

Just wondering: Who was that first woman who jumped up on stage and danced during “Baby Did a Bad Bad Thing” at last week’s Chris Isaak show at the Martin Woldson Theater at the Fox?

Today’s Slice question: What would people say if you announced in a loud, clear voice, “I’m in the mood to walk over to the filling station and get a bottle of pop – who wants to join me?” A) “Right. We can pick up Andy and Barney on the way.” B) “Apparently you have never actually tried to walk anywhere around here. You’d never make it across that one arterial alive.” C) “Filling station? You mean that high-fructose markup mart that’s always getting robbed?” D) “Can you actually get glass bottles from a vending machine these days?” E) “No, thanks. Paying $1.75 for a bladder’s worth of syntho-juice isn’t on my summer bucket list.” F) “Sorry. The Simpler Times Express already left the station.” G) Other.

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. It turns out Spokane is a great place to raise objections.

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