Dear Annie: My husband spends too much time on the Internet and then gets upset when I say so. Several months ago, I caught him talking to a woman online, and I’m worried it’s happening again. In spite of my suspicions, however, when I’ve checked his activity, I see nothing. (I realize he could be deleting things.)
Last night, we went out for dinner, and we weren’t in the door five minutes before he was standing in the bedroom with his tablet in his hands checking his email. When I tell him I’d like him to spend more time with me instead of his computer, he gets angry. What can I do? – My Husband Doesn’t Listen to Me
Dear Listen to Me: Are you objecting because your husband is addicted to his computer or because you think he is using it to cheat? Our concern is that he becomes angry when you broach the subject. This defensiveness is a way to protect his behavior. If you simply want more of his attention, first determine whether you are being too clingy, and then find effective ways to distract him. However, if you simply don’t trust him, that is a more serious issue, and we recommend counseling – with or without him.
Dear Annie: I’d like to weigh in about having flowers at funerals. My mother was adamant on this subject. She always told me that if I couldn’t bring her flowers when was alive, she sure didn’t want them when she was dead. So my brother and I gave her flowers whenever we could.
At her funeral, we had a single red rose on her casket. It was her favorite flower. I’m sure the people attending the service thought we were being cheap, but I felt we kept to her wishes. I’m sorry about the florist’s loss of income, but my mother’s preferences were much more important. – Chattaroy