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The Slice: Not exactly Hallmark moments

Ten things you don’t always hear on Father’s Day.

1. Siblings often have totally different takes on their dad.

2. A fair number of men based their whole parenting style on not being like their father.

3. Some of those guys overdid it and went too far in the other direction.

4. People who grew up with abusive fathers can have a hard time recognizing the blissed out families in Father’s Day TV commercials.

5. More than a few people can relate to the Woody Allen line, “My parents never got divorced, although I begged them to.”

6. Some guys swear that, unlike their dads, they aren’t going to spend their lives worrying about money. How’s that going?

7. The fact that a man can’t stay on the phone for more than 30 seconds before saying “I’ll get your mother” is not an indication that he doesn’t love you.

8. Ozzie Nelson might not have been quite so laid-back if he had to get up and go to work.

9. The reason that father-daughter Subaru commercial is good isn’t that the grown-up version of the daughter looks like a young Faye Dunaway.

10. Some dads were slightly nuts, but they did the best they could.

Life imitating art: The Slice’s mention of the 1982 movie “Fast Times at Ridgemont High” reminded retired local teacher Jeff Brown of a time he got “Spicolied” – a reference to the stoned surfer character Jeff Spicoli, played by Sean Penn.

“I was merrily conducting class one summery day when a pizza delivery man came in the room with a couple of pizzas. A student jumped up and paid him and took delivery. The whole class looked at me to see my reaction.

“I said ‘Those two pizzas aren’t going to go very far.’

“We took time out and ate pizza. The student later told me that he was a little disappointed that I didn’t go ballistic.”

The semi-famous person you would like to have drop by at work or at some gathering to say hello as if the two of you are old friends: “Retired NASCAR driver Sterling Marlin,” said Dave Neuenschwander.

“Vin Scully,” said Barry Bauchwitz.

“Teller, of Penn and Teller,” said Ann Echegoyen.

“Clint Eastwood,” said Steve Nittolo.

“Dan Rather,” said Bob Curry.

Today’s Slice question: What made/makes your dad laugh?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email There are few things better than your grandfather being proud of your father.

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