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The Slice: Time to step it up this summer

MONDAY, JUNE 25, 2012

OK, there are 10 weeks until Labor Day.

So here’s the plan. (Feel free to modify to suit your religious beliefs, budget and dietary restrictions.)

Week 1: Build tree house: Equip it with water-balloon launcher, interrogation room, buffet setup, wet bar, library and home theater.

Week 2: Squirt guns quick-draw tournament: “Make your move.”

Week 3: Wiffle Ball World Series: Select your simulated teams from the following: 1. 1919 Chicago White Sox. 2. 1927 New York Yankees. 3. 1955 Brooklyn Dodgers. 4. 1957 Milwaukee Braves. 5. 1964 St. Louis Cardinals. 6. 1965 Los Angeles Dodgers. 7. 1968 Detroit Tigers. 8. 1976 Cincinnati Reds. 9. 1985 Kansas City Royals. 10. 1991 Minnesota Twins.

Week 4: Fantasy lake monster fake-out: See how many people you can get to bite on your over-the-top “Whoa! What was THAT? Did you SEE that?”

Week 5: Horrible Beach Movies Film Festival: Fire up the cocktail blender and then sit back and get your wisecracks ready as you screen “Beach Party,” “Muscle Beach Party,” “Bikini Beach,” “Beach Blanket Bingo,” “How to Stuff a Wild Bikini” and “Ride the Wild Surf.”

Week 6: Investigate Spokane-area social service volunteering opportunities: But not if your only motivation is to add a line to college entrance applications.

Week 7: Do your Atticus Finch impression: Except, instead of standing guard outside the jail where wrongly accused Tom Robinson is being held in “To Kill a Mockingbird,” you will pull up a lawn chair and maintain a late-night vigil next to your ripening tomatoes.

Week 8: Adopt a pet from a local animal shelter and embark on a heartwarming adventure reminiscent of “Old Yeller,” but without the rabies.

Week 9: Family road trip during which you spend a total of 47.8 hours telling your kids what summer vacation road trips used to be like back in the day, usually failing to notice that they have headphones on.

Week 10: Expo ’12. Don a Richard Nixon mask and declare your end-of-summer environmental exposition and yard sale officially open.

Today’s Slice question: In terms of simply admiring bodies, which Olympic athletes do you most look forward to seeing later this summer?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Some who drive around with jumper cables in the trunk don’t know how to use them.

 
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