Empty nest brings new opportunities

Dear Annie: I have been with my husband more than 20 years. We have never been separated, even for a few days. We have stuck it out through the good, the bad and the horrible.

We have two boys who are about to graduate high school, and I am wondering how this will affect our relationship. I am scared that he won’t find our life together interesting without any kids to keep things active. I worry that the kids have been the knot that has kept us together. Will change split us up? – Patty

Dear Patty: It’s true that once the kids leave the nest, some couples discover that they have nothing else in common. But most couples use this time to revitalize their marriages and enjoy things they could not do when raising children. This actually can be the best time of your married life.

Think of the qualities that first attracted you to your husband. Start cultivating interests that don’t involve your kids, but in which you and your husband can participate together: gym memberships, book clubs, community choirs, dance lessons, travel, whatever could be fun for both of you. Plan a romantic vacation. Become members of a local theater troupe. Schedule a cooking class together once a month. And you do not have to do everything together. You and your husband undoubtedly have hobbies you’d like to devote time to now that you can, and they don’t have to be joint activities. It’s OK to have your own interests. It will give you something to talk about over dinner.