Clark: City news beat yields attorneys, police, being Dunn in
So much news. So many questions.
Q: David Condon ended the week with a show of mayoral machismo by sending City Attorney Howard Delaney packing. What’s the Spokane mayor up to?
A: A good start.
Q: Old lawyer joke. I get it.
A: Thank you.
Q: But seriously, any indication that Assistant City Attorney Rocky Treppiedi is next for the Condon firing squad?
A: Well, the mayor did send Rocky a mixtape.
Q: Condon gave Treppiedi a music compilation? What songs did he put on it?
A: “All Out of Love,” “He Ain’t Worth Missing,” “It’s All Over Now,” “Walk Away Renee” and “Without You.”
Q: Any others?
A: “Hit the Road Jack.”
Q: Rocky better pack his bags, huh?
A: It would be the best gift to Spokane since Expo.
Q: Turning to local law enforcement, what do you make of that idiot Spokane cop who was fired for supposedly misusing city resources to get the home address of a woman he met at Sullivan Scoreboard tavern?
A: Alan D. Edwards, I presume.
Q: That’s the one. Did you see that a Scoreboard bartender claimed she caught the off-duty officer earlier that night in the women’s bathroom bothering a woman who was trying to use the toilet?
A: Psychiatrists call this the Larry Craig Syndrome.
Q: Then Edwards supposedly showed up uninvited at the woman’s front door in the wee hours of the morning. What SPD code did Edwards violate?
A: The putting the “ass” in “harassment” code.
Q: Now that Edwards has been canned, do you think he’ll hire Spokane’s King of Torts, Bob Dunn?
A: All signs point to greed.
Q: You mean Edwards will make like that drunken-driving, hit-and-run cop, Brad Thoma, and sue the city for $4 million?
A: Oh, Edwards will want even more.
Q: How much more?
A: Four million plus a membership to Match.com.
Q: George Romero could make a movie about a creep like Edwards.
A: “Night of the Living Ed,” he’d call it.
Q: That’s really bad.
A: You’re welcome.
Q: But speaking of attacks by flesh-eating zombies, what did you think of lawyer Dunn referring to the Spokane City Council the other day as “seven people who don’t have a clue what they’re doing”?
A: Dunn obviously doesn’t know his place.
Q: His place?
A: If anybody’s going to insult the council’s IQ, it’s yours truly.
Q: You have made a career out it.
A: Beats having to actually work for a living.
Q: By the way, the first meeting of Spokane’s commission on police “use of force” was held this week. Any revelations?
A: Yes. The commission settled on what nickname to use when discussing that special ironwood club that convicted ex-cop Karl Thompson used in his thuggish beat-down of Otto Zehm.
Q: So what’s the nickname?
A: The Karl’s Junior.
Q: Isn’t that a joint that makes hamburgers?
A: That’s Carl’s Jr.
Q: And Karl’s Junior?
A: That’s what Karl used to turn an innocent victim’s joints into hamburger.
Q: I think we’ve hit the wall here.
A: And not a moment too soon.
Doug Clark is a columnist for The Spokesman-Review. He can be reached at (509) 459-5432 or by email at email@example.com.