March 4, 2012 in City

Clark: City news beat yields attorneys, police, being Dunn in

By The Spokesman-Review
 

So much news. So many questions.

Q: David Condon ended the week with a show of mayoral machismo by sending City Attorney Howard Delaney packing. What’s the Spokane mayor up to?

A: A good start.

Q: Old lawyer joke. I get it.

A: Thank you.

Q: But seriously, any indication that Assistant City Attorney Rocky Treppiedi is next for the Condon firing squad?

A: Well, the mayor did send Rocky a mixtape.

Q: Condon gave Treppiedi a music compilation? What songs did he put on it?

A: “All Out of Love,” “He Ain’t Worth Missing,” “It’s All Over Now,” “Walk Away Renee” and “Without You.”

Q: Any others?

A: “Hit the Road Jack.”

Q: Rocky better pack his bags, huh?

A: It would be the best gift to Spokane since Expo.

Q: Turning to local law enforcement, what do you make of that idiot Spokane cop who was fired for supposedly misusing city resources to get the home address of a woman he met at Sullivan Scoreboard tavern?

A: Alan D. Edwards, I presume.

Q: That’s the one. Did you see that a Scoreboard bartender claimed she caught the off-duty officer earlier that night in the women’s bathroom bothering a woman who was trying to use the toilet?

A: Psychiatrists call this the Larry Craig Syndrome.

Q: Then Edwards supposedly showed up uninvited at the woman’s front door in the wee hours of the morning. What SPD code did Edwards violate?

A: The putting the “ass” in “harassment” code.

Q: Now that Edwards has been canned, do you think he’ll hire Spokane’s King of Torts, Bob Dunn?

A: All signs point to greed.

Q: You mean Edwards will make like that drunken-driving, hit-and-run cop, Brad Thoma, and sue the city for $4 million?

A: Oh, Edwards will want even more.

Q: How much more?

A: Four million plus a membership to Match.com.

Q: George Romero could make a movie about a creep like Edwards.

A: “Night of the Living Ed,” he’d call it.

Q: That’s really bad.

A: You’re welcome.

Q: But speaking of attacks by flesh-eating zombies, what did you think of lawyer Dunn referring to the Spokane City Council the other day as “seven people who don’t have a clue what they’re doing”?

A: Dunn obviously doesn’t know his place.

Q: His place?

A: If anybody’s going to insult the council’s IQ, it’s yours truly.

Q: You have made a career out it.

A: Beats having to actually work for a living.

Q: By the way, the first meeting of Spokane’s commission on police “use of force” was held this week. Any revelations?

A: Yes. The commission settled on what nickname to use when discussing that special ironwood club that convicted ex-cop Karl Thompson used in his thuggish beat-down of Otto Zehm.

Q: So what’s the nickname?

A: The Karl’s Junior.

Q: Isn’t that a joint that makes hamburgers?

A: That’s Carl’s Jr.

Q: And Karl’s Junior?

A: That’s what Karl used to turn an innocent victim’s joints into hamburger.

Q: I think we’ve hit the wall here.

A: And not a moment too soon.

Doug Clark is a columnist for The Spokesman-Review. He can be reached at (509) 459-5432 or by email at dougc@spokesman.com.


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