March 8, 2012 in Features

Annie’s Mailbox: Decline to host her shower for 65

Kathy Mitchell/Marcy Sugar Kathy Mitchell
 

Dear Annie: I’ve been asked to be the maid-of-honor for a friend. I was planning to throw a bridal shower with 10 to 15 guests at my apartment. I had a nice luncheon-type party in mind.

The other day, my friend informed me that she wants to invite 65 guests and, since my apartment is too small for that crowd, said I should host it at a local restaurant. I checked with the venue, and it is way too pricey for my budget. Even if I involve the other two bridesmaids, this will be a much bigger expense than I can afford.

Are there rules when it comes to bridal shower guest lists? I don’t want to hurt her feelings or lose her friendship, but combined with the expense of the dress, shoes, hair and bachelorette party, I may need to take out a loan. How can I handle this? After all, it’s her wedding. – Soon To Be Poor Maid of Honor

Dear Maid: The bride is allowed to give you the guest list, but she must keep to the hostess’ limit. When you told her you would give a shower for 15 people, she should have kept the guest list at 15. It is inconsiderate of a bride to force anyone to shell out more than they can afford for a shower. We recommend you tell her “so sorry,” this isn’t in your budget, and you will have to decline as hostess, but that you would be happy to give a smaller event in your apartment for 15 guests. We don’t care if it’s her wedding. It doesn’t entitle her to become Bridezilla.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailboxcomcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.


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