Miss Manners: People beg for luxuries shamelessly

Nice people tell Miss Manners that they simply cannot believe her often-stated lament that we have turned into a nation of beggars – beggars who are far from destitute, but are trolling for luxuries.

There is a simpler explanation for all of these incidents and the huge number of similar ones being reported to Miss Manners every day. It is that people no longer plan in terms of luxuries they can afford or save to buy, but of what they want now, and they are shameless about asking others to pay.

A brief sample from her mailbox:

• “My nephew posted on Facebook that he was more than disappointed that he didn’t get wedding gifts and how people came to the reception and HE paid for their meal so they got a free ride. He also posted that because of people not giving him money, he doesn’t have enough to go on his honeymoon. He then requested donations! What’s amazing (well, not really) is that he never sent thank-you cards to the people who did give.”

• “My husband’s nephew will be making his confirmation today and all that has been mentioned is the amount of money to give, which I find crass and offensive.”

• “In the past year, three different couples have sent me ‘solicitation’ letters for money to go toward the adoption of a new baby.

“I know people, all too well, who delayed, sacrificed and saved to have a family. We all know the people who have worked two jobs, put off an education and made numerous untold sacrifices to become parents, without the ‘community’ becoming involved in their parenting efforts. Not to mention the people I know who have spent countless dollars on infertility treatments in the struggle.”

Miss Manners knows people like that, too. They are the ones who say it cannot possibly be true that traditionally proud Americans no longer believe that asking for handouts is the last desperate and humiliating resort of the destitute.