Dear Annie: My husband, “Rick,” had been close friends with “Edward” for 30 years. We used to get together frequently, and Edward was always kind and considerate and someone we highly respected. Then, Edward got engaged to “Michelle.”
I was pregnant at the time, and my doctor put me on bed rest because I had already been hospitalized once. I could not travel out of state for any of the festivities. However, Rick was gone nearly every weekend attending the engagement party, bachelor party and wedding. He said Edward was not acting like himself during these visits, saying he was uncharacteristically inconsiderate and strange.
Two months later, I gave birth to a girl, and we invited Edward and Michelle to the baptism. Edward called to say they would not be attending because Michelle was hurt that I didn’t come to the wedding. She said my absence meant I did not support their marriage, and they needed time to “heal” from this insult. Michelle also was offended that Rick’s wedding speech did not make enough mention of her.
Not only did my doctor forbid me from traveling to the wedding, but Rick spent a long time composing a thoughtful, funny and heartfelt speech and even delivered some of it in Michelle’s native language. Rick angrily confronted Edward and disinvited them to the baptism. Edward then claimed it was a miscommunication.
It’s been a year since “the phone call,” and Rick is grieving. For Rick’s sake, I want them to reconcile. What can I do? – Scorned and Angry
Dear Scorned: We are so sorry that Edward’s marriage has thrown a wrench into his relationship with Rick, but these things happen. The only one who can fix it is Edward. Be supportive of Rick by sympathizing without being negative about Edward or Michelle. The best thing you can do for your husband is to help him move forward one day at a time.