Annie’s Mailbox: Daughter can marry whomever she likes

Dear Annie: A year ago, my daughter met a man over the Internet. That’s fine, but I have the following issues:

1. She wants to marry him without actually having met him in person.

2. He is from a foreign country where the customs are vastly different from ours.

3. I worry that he will take advantage of her just to remain in this country.

My daughter says I am concerned for no reason. She is 30 years old and has lived in a small town most of her life. How do I deal with this appropriately? – Unsure Mom

Dear Mom: All of your issues are valid and worth discussing. However, your daughter is 30 years old. If she chooses to go into marriage without meeting the man or learning more about him and his culture, there’s not much you can do to stop her. Stay neutral. Suggest that he come for a visit, saying you are eager to meet him and want to give them an engagement party. Then do so. We hope he is everything she dreams of because the downside is rather unpleasant to contemplate.

Dear Annie: Is it acceptable for kids to send thank-you notes via email?

I was brought up in a more traditional way, where thank-you notes were always handwritten. Of course, back then, emails were not an option. Frankly, I think any thank you is better than no thank you, and getting my kids to sit down and write notes by hand takes forever, and I’d like them sent in a timely fashion.

I’m sure my kids would be more willing to send a quick note via email, but I’m conflicted as to whether that’s acceptable or not. – MOM IN CONNECTICUT

Dear Mom: Good news! Yes, email thank-you notes are acceptable, especially if that is the best you’re going to get. Please make sure your children understand that the note still has to be appropriate and appreciative. But we also hope you will continue to demonstrate to your children how much nicer it is to receive a personal handwritten note. This should not be a dying art.

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