March 16, 2012 in Features

The Slice: The best of both worlds

By The Spokesman-Review
 

Your findings and experience may suggest otherwise.

But according to The Slice …

People who went to junior high don’t like their driver’s license picture.

People who went to middle school tend to make the best college roommates.

People who went to junior high read bumper stickers aloud.

People who went to middle school can tell you which bands were influenced by other musicians and which groups just plain stole.

People who went to junior high can name the state capitals.

People who went to middle school can be relied on to know when pants do not fit.

People who went to junior high threaten to discipline the neighbor’s cat for failing to obey commands but, in the end, wind up patting it on the head and giving it a treat.

People who went to middle school think calling elderly people “young lady” or “young man” is cute when, in reality, all it does is unnecessarily draw attention to the person’s age.

People who went to junior high used a magnifying glass to burn holes through the eyes of guys on baseball cards.

People who went to middle school tend to be good dancers.

People who went to middle school and then transferred to a junior high tend to feel helpless about the relentless encroachment on wilderness.

People who went to junior high and then transferred to a middle school enjoy sharply critiquing the Spokane news media.

People who were home schooled are always asking, “What’s that smell?”

People who went to middle school live on streets with sturdy, solid names.

People who went to junior high take forever to get through a book because they read at bedtime and usually nod off after two pages.

People who went to middle school know how to make little kids laugh.

People who went to junior high snort when someone refers to a day in Spokane as humid.

People who went to middle school understand that people moving to Idaho from California aren’t all exactly alike.

People who went to junior high often cross-breed with people who went to middle school.

Today’s Slice question: What percentage of Spokane area residents have never ridden on a train?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Could you make a free throw?


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