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The Spokesman-Review Newspaper
Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

High school slights can last lifetime

Judith Martin Universal Uclick

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it acceptable for a girl to decline an invitation to a dance, only to later accept another invitation to the same dance? This is for a high school dance or prom.

GENTLE READER: If you are the parent of a young gentleman to whom this has been done, Miss Manners can confirm that the young lady is indeed rude, and that however crushed your son is, he is better off. She would be capable of committing another rudeness, such as breaking the date later.

If you are the parent of a young lady who proposes to do this, it is still rude, but Miss Manners has more to say.

You should tell your daughter that as the idea is to avoid hurting the young gentleman’s feelings, in theory, she should be able to do this if he would never find out. Then ask her how she would decline without being unkind or untruthful. And remind her that there are no secrets in high school.

There is another lesson you might give, even though she will not believe it. That is that some law of nature makes the least popular boy in high school into the most desirable man later in life, yet, no matter how successful and glamorous he has become, makes him remember and continue to smart from having been slighted.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I am a nurse and my boyfriend was sick for three days. I helped take care of him, but by the third day I became increasingly irritated with him for telling me “thank you” every hour or so.

Why do I lose my patience? Isn’t saying “thank you” once sufficient, or am I being unreasonable?

GENTLE READER: You are being unwise.

Because you are a nurse, you may feel as if you are doing no more for him than you would for a stranger. But have you never had a cantankerous patient who ordered you around as if you were a servant – using a tone that no self-respecting servant would stand for?

Miss Manners advises you that there are more annoying attitudes than gratitude, and advises you to refrain from discouraging it.