March 26, 2012 in Features

Annie’s Mailbox: Time for fiance to pitch in at home

Kathy Mitchell
 

Dear Annie: I’ve been engaged for almost a year, and the wedding is in December. My fiance was recently laid off, and we decided it would be more cost effective to move in together and take care of one home instead of two.

However, I’ve begun to realize that I am not simply the only one working. I am also the only one doing anything at our place. Sometimes my job requires me to work 12 hours, and then I come home to a dirty house and no food to eat. When I ask my fiance what’s for dinner, he says, “Whatever you decide to cook.”

I love my guy dearly, but if he doesn’t get it together, there may not be a wedding in December. – Ms. Fed Up

Dear Fed Up: We cannot convey strongly enough how important it is to settle this type of thing before you marry, because it is not going to suddenly resolve itself afterward. Explain to your fiance that you expect him to contribute his share to the upkeep of the house. We assume he spends part of his time looking for a job. But he also needs to be doing some of the housework, grocery shopping, laundry and general maintenance. Dinner can be a joint effort. If he refuses, please consider this a prelude to your married life together.

Dear Annie: Your female readers often say that the use of bio-identical hormones and testosterone was the key to changing their libido. I, too, tried these hormones, for more than four years without a boost. But for those of us who couldn’t care less about sex, I sometimes wonder whether it’s totally hormonal. Here are two questions that need to be pondered: Are you still attracted to your husband? Do you still respect him?

I love my husband, but he is not my best friend. His selfishness over the years has had an impact on my feelings toward him. I make an effort to be intimate because it is important to the relationship. – Maybe It’s Not Just Hormones


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