The Slice: Race day is almost here: Pass the pizza

If you are not doing Bloomsday on Sunday, it’s time to start getting ready.

Getting ready to not do it, that is.

Here’s a handy checklist.

Picking up your packet: You can skip that and use the time to study the classics.

Stretching: There are two schools of thought on the value of pre-exercise stretching. But if your Sunday plans mostly involve a couch and a remote, it probably doesn’t matter what you do. If, however, you are going to be gardening or taking the dogs for a walk, you might want to warm up. Or not.

Diet: Not everyone agrees. But some say the perfect diet in the days leading up to Bloomsday (for those who won’t be doing it) leans heavily on pizza. Keeping your fluids intake up could also be key for the non-Bloomie, though it doesn’t really matter. There’s some flexibility here.

Pre-race rest: How important is this for the person who won’t be doing Bloomsday? Not important at all. Unless, of course, the individual in question has some other Sunday morning exertion scheduled.

Planning the logistics of getting downtown and parking, etc.: This should be relatively simple. One popular approach involves getting up and enjoying a large breakfast and then going back to bed. Your car, bike or bus pass can stay put.

Consumption of alcoholic beverages: Laws, common sense and simple decency should be your guide here. But as far as getting ready to not do the race, whatever works for you should be fine. Nonparticipants aiming for a personal best might want to make sure to have a designated driver or, better yet, never leave home.

Psychological preparation: Different people have various approaches to getting fired up before not running Bloomsday. Some listen to bouncy, up-tempo music. A few put in earphones and soak up motivational pep talks. Others grab a bag of chips and conk out in the recliner.

Wearing the T-shirt Monday: You won’t have a 2012 Bloomsday shirt, of course. So you won’t have to worry about how you look in it.

Today’s Slice question: What are the odds that Saturday’s Kentucky Derby winner will run the race faster than Secretariat in 1973?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Some people are not happy about the prospect of seeing neighbors’ campaign signs for half a year.

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