Prom dates now often involve groups

DEAR MISS MANNERS: My high school did not, as I recall, limit its senior prom to couples, and when I’ve heard of schools that do, I’ve always assumed that it was because of mistaken notions of what is traditional at formal dances.

But now I’m wondering if perhaps the high school prom, as opposed to dance parties in general, really did originate as a couples-only event. Could it be true?

GENTLE READER: The traditional formal dance required more gentlemen than ladies, so that there would be a stag line. But then, that was in polite society, which is hardly the way we define high school.

Presumably, schools had more insight than the planners of debutante dances did into how a herd of unfettered stags generally behaves. The couples policy was widespread, although Miss Manners is not aware that it was universal.

But this followed a pattern of socializing – the date – that is no longer the general standard. Today’s young are more used to going around in groups, which is how many now approach their proms.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: Is it considered tacky to place coordinating place mats over a plain tablecloth?

GENTLE READER: These are either/or table coverings, the cloth being the more formal choice. Using both strikes Miss Manners as showing a remarkable lack of faith in the table manners of one’s guests.

DEAR MISS MANNERS: How do I respond to compliments such as, “You are so much better than me at (this)” or “I’m so jealous of your talent”? Saying “thank you” would address the compliment aspect, but neglect the part in which the speaker insults him/herself.

GENTLE READER: Ah, yes, the What About Me? compliment. Miss Manners is not fond of it, but the gracious answer it requires is, “Oh, no, you are better at it than I,” if that is halfway plausible, or “But you’re so good at …” something else.