The Slice: Man candles make a lot of scents

Sometimes the gender stereotyping is so pronounced you can almost smell it.

A North Idaho friend, Carol Nelson, told me about man candles.

Marketed as Father’s Day gifts, the line of scents include “Riding mower,” “2x4” and “First down.”

This is on the level.

“I think they should make one called ‘Bacon,’ ” Nelson said.

And she asked what masculine aroma I would like to see available in man candle form.

OK, I’ll propose a few, just to get us started. Then it will be your turn.

1. Campfire. 2. Milkshakes and comic books. 3. The lake. 4. Overheated model train/slot car engine. 5. Catcher’s mitt. 6. Freshly turned soil. 7. A woman’s hair after she has been soaking up sun for an hour. 8. Your dad’s after-shave. 9. Sunday breakfast. 10. New tires.

11. Ripe tomatoes, 1963. 12. Hershey bar. 13. Starched shirt. 14. Washed, shampooed and dried infant. 15. Wet jeans. 16. Vinyl LP. 17. Pie in the oven. 18. Saltwater. 19. A mug of Guinness. 20. Garlicky fingertips.

21. New car. 22. Bike chain oil. 23. Sweet onion, tomato and mayo sandwich. 24. Just rained. 25. Used books store. 26. Thanksgiving. 27. Pretty girl with chlorine in her hair. 28. Breaking a sweat (first five minutes). 29. Snow fort in a blizzard. 30. Old baseball cards.

31. Root beer float. 32. Popcorn without urine-colored chemical sludge. 33. Toasted marshmallows. 34. Night crawlers. 35. Summer night standing around talking with friends, some of whom might or might not be underage consumers of Boone’s Farm apple wine. 36. Older brother’s Vitalis hair oil. 37. Coat closet. 38. Cherry lemonade. 39. Being outside and smelling fireplace woodsmoke when it is single-digits cold. 40. Firecrackers.

41. Barber shop, 1966. 42. Sunday paper. 43. Board games stash. 44. Bathed puppy. 45. Junior high wood shop. 46. ChapStick. 47. Treehouse. 48. Gasoline. 49. Old leather jacket. 50. Italian restaurant.

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. A couple of readers said they cannot remember what convinced them to get a pill organizer.

Tags: The Slice

There is one comment on this story »



Contact the Spokesman

Main switchboard:
(509) 459-5000
Customer service:
(509) 747-4422
(509) 459-5400
(800) 789-0029
Back to Spokesman Mobile