November 1, 2012 in Features

The Slice: License to poke fun

By The Spokesman-Review
 

The Slice asked if readers think their driver’s license photo looks like a mug shot.

“No,” said Francie Radecki.

In fact, her sister saw the license and pointedly praised the photo, saying “It doesn’t even look like you.”

Said Radecki, “Thanks for the compliment, sis.”

Slice answer: “Never broke a glass jar in a grocery store,” wrote Kathy Bihler. “But my husband broke a ceiling light fixture while trying out a new bat in the basement of a local sporting goods store.”

The number of times you hear someone say “Oh, my God!” about nothing before tuning that person out: “Twice,” said Gary W. Smith.

When people ask how your vehicle does in snow: Bill Dropko says his truck goes like a squirrel up a tree. “But it takes (an area) the size of an ice hockey rink to get it stopped.”

Spreading the good word: “Atheists have a difficult time as missionaries, since they have to convince people of the absolute truth of the statement: There is no absolute truth,” wrote Larry Zimmerman.

“Monster Mash” in real life: LaDawn Heywood said she and her night-shift colleagues at the PAML medical laboratories can say they were “Working in the lab late one night.”

Dressed in white lab coats and all. “We haunt each other year-round.”

Slice answer: Is there a deal with the devil you would consider? “Yes,” said Jerry Barbee. “But I’m damned if I remember what it is.”

Re: The gross-out risk when eating in front of the TV: “We usually sit down for dinner just as the autopsy begins,” wrote Leslie Wunderle.

Bob and Mary Anne Brown said that’s exactly what happens to them.

Family Phrases Department: Pattie Kaminski’s dad created one when, instead of “misconstrue,” he said “misconscrew.”

“We use it so often I have to remind myself of the real word,” she wrote.

Today’s Slice question: What is your No. 1 personal goal for November?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Apparently I’m not the only one who can entertain himself by paging through old phone books or critiquing WWII air combat sequences in movies or TV shows.


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