November 16, 2012 in Features

The Slice: Before the fact, let’s talk leftovers

By The Spokesman-Review
 

It’s just one week until the Festival of Leftovers.

Which is your Friday-after fridge access style? A) I bend over and, while facing away, reach in all the way to the back of the refrigerator even though I can’t really see what my fingertips are touching. B) I open the door and kneel before the fridge. C) I haul out 37 different containers to get to the one I want. Sometimes I put them back. D) I squat down like a catcher in baseball and peer into the fridge. E) I look for a resident female and inquire about the location of certain leftovers – even though this often results in relatives getting snippy with me. F) I loll about on living room furniture until someone else gets up. Then, while remaining beached, I clear my throat and say, “Uh, since you’re up, would you mind making me a 16-ingredient turkey sandwich and slicing me a piece of pie?” G) I never leave the dining room table on Thanksgiving and simply hope that people will continue bringing me food for 48 hours. H) Other.

Pre-holiday season lifestyle tip: When discussing what movie to attend, it is much better if you do not suggest that your in-laws’ tastes in films are a genetic defect.

He’s not impressed with any aspect of how we cope with winter: “It is the weak, spineless Spokane mentality that drives me bananas and makes me glad I have moved out of the area,” wrote Doug Mitchell of Ellensburg.

Marlene McBride wonders: “In Spokane, what house has the smallest square footage?”

One reader’s suggestion: Bill Drake has seen those “happy as a witch in a broom factory” TV commercials. And now he would like to read localized completions of “Happy as a … ”

Today’s Slice question: Let’s say you are not using a basket and are carrying an unwieldy armload of clean, unfolded laundry and drop a sock on your way to your sorting destination. Do you bend over and try to pick it up – knowing full well that this might precipitate further droppage – or do you keep going and come back later for the straggler?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Try not to think of your coffee mug in terms of forensic evidence.

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