November 16, 2012 in Features

The Slice: Before the fact, let’s talk leftovers

By The Spokesman-Review

It’s just one week until the Festival of Leftovers.

Which is your Friday-after fridge access style? A) I bend over and, while facing away, reach in all the way to the back of the refrigerator even though I can’t really see what my fingertips are touching. B) I open the door and kneel before the fridge. C) I haul out 37 different containers to get to the one I want. Sometimes I put them back. D) I squat down like a catcher in baseball and peer into the fridge. E) I look for a resident female and inquire about the location of certain leftovers – even though this often results in relatives getting snippy with me. F) I loll about on living room furniture until someone else gets up. Then, while remaining beached, I clear my throat and say, “Uh, since you’re up, would you mind making me a 16-ingredient turkey sandwich and slicing me a piece of pie?” G) I never leave the dining room table on Thanksgiving and simply hope that people will continue bringing me food for 48 hours. H) Other.

Pre-holiday season lifestyle tip: When discussing what movie to attend, it is much better if you do not suggest that your in-laws’ tastes in films are a genetic defect.

He’s not impressed with any aspect of how we cope with winter: “It is the weak, spineless Spokane mentality that drives me bananas and makes me glad I have moved out of the area,” wrote Doug Mitchell of Ellensburg.

Marlene McBride wonders: “In Spokane, what house has the smallest square footage?”

One reader’s suggestion: Bill Drake has seen those “happy as a witch in a broom factory” TV commercials. And now he would like to read localized completions of “Happy as a … ”

Today’s Slice question: Let’s say you are not using a basket and are carrying an unwieldy armload of clean, unfolded laundry and drop a sock on your way to your sorting destination. Do you bend over and try to pick it up – knowing full well that this might precipitate further droppage – or do you keep going and come back later for the straggler?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email Try not to think of your coffee mug in terms of forensic evidence.

Get stories like this in a free daily email

Please keep it civil. Don't post comments that are obscene, defamatory, threatening, off-topic, an infringement of copyright or an invasion of privacy. Read our forum standards and community guidelines.

You must be logged in to post comments. Please log in here or click the comment box below for options.

comments powered by Disqus