October 12, 2012 in Features

The Slice: Pumpkin opening: Inquire within

By The Spokesman-Review
 

When interviewing pumpkins about an upcoming opening as your family’s jack-o’-lantern, it’s important to ask the right questions.

Here are a few you might want to consider.

How would you characterize your social media skills?

Are you afraid of sharp objects?

Do you work well with fruit pies?

In your eyes, who is the customer?

Where do you see yourself in five years?

Afraid of fire?

Can you think of a situation where you had to overcome multiple obstacles to get the job done?

Do you have any shortcomings besides caring too much?

Do you contribute in meetings without wasting everyone’s time?

What drives you out of your gourd?

Can you provide references?

Would you call yourself a leader?

Are you well-rounded?

Could you work for a supervisor named Peter Peter?

What are the particular market challenges facing a jack-o’-lantern in 2012?

How do you like to spend your time away from the job?

Is the Spokane area a good place to be a pumpkin?

What are the advantages of a rural upbringing?

How do you stay informed?

OK with working outdoors?

Who or what would you like to come back as if reincarnated?

How can you tell a male pumpkin from a female pumpkin?

What would you do about a team member who consistently projected a bad attitude?

How would you define “inappropriate touching”?

Ever had any problems with deadlines?

What’s an example of something you learned from a performance review?

How would you have felt about being carried by the 1978 version of Jamie Lee Curtis?

Ever send unnecessary emails?

Do you have a bad side?

What are your compensation expectations?

Why should we hire you?

(If you use any of those questions, please feel free to share some of the answers you hear during your interviews.)

Warm-up questions: Do people named Hogan still have to deal with the legacy of TV’s “Hogan’s Heroes” in the form of hearing “Hogan dahling” or “Hogunnnnnn!”? Whose home has the greatest number of items that came from local stores that no longer exist?

Today’s Slice question: What were you eating when you broke a tooth?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Telling time by ship’s bells is easier than you might think.


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