Vulgar language disturbing at work

Dear Annie: I am tired of vulgar language, especially at work. Whenever my department head becomes frustrated, he thinks it’s OK to use whatever words he wants. So if he’s upset, he thinks it’s fine to upset others by using offensive language.

He knows I don’t care for it and has tried to tone it down. But not much has changed. I’m a quiet guy and keep to myself. I don’t like conflict. So I have done nothing even though it bothers me and puts me in a bad mood when I hear such language. Any suggestions? – North Carolina

Dear North: You must speak up if you expect anything to change. You could talk to the department head, saying that you would appreciate it if he would control his use of unprofessional language a bit more during working hours. He has already made a small effort, so your words will not go unheeded. You also could enlist other co-workers to speak to him, or you could go over his head and complain to a supervisor.

But if asserting yourself is not possible, we can only suggest that you indicate disapproval at the time, hoping he will eventually learn to modify his behavior. You also could leave the room, wear headphones or ignore him. Sorry.

Dear Annie: I understand the problem of “Pastor’s Wife in the Midwest.” I am a church organist and have been stiffed by the wedding couple, as well. Playing for a wedding involves practice time, attending the rehearsal and additional hours on the day of the wedding. We also must purchase the music and deal with soloists.

I play in a small country church and know most of these people personally, so I don’t feel comfortable demanding a certain amount. But pastors, soloists and organists are part of the wedding expenses and should be compensated for these important occasions that cannot take place without them. – Here Comes the Bride and $$$