Dear Annie: I have recently been invited to a wedding where the only gifts requested were contributions to the honeymoon. Included in the wedding invitation was a card with directions for accessing the “Honeymoon Fund” website so I could make a donation. On the website were explicit instructions from the couple saying they’d like the donation made prior to the wedding so they could plan ahead. The website fund is broken down into specific items ($20 for breakfast in bed, $80 for a couple’s massage or $100 toward a down payment on a house). All I had to do was click “donate here.” Am I old-fashioned, or is it still considered tacky to tell your guests that you want money (and only money) and ask for it in advance? If I donate online, do I still give a card to the couple at the wedding?
I’ve asked a few younger people about this, and it sounds as if such things are becoming more commonplace. Please rush your answer so I can donate early. – Bring Back Wedding Etiquette
Dear Etiquette: Yes, it’s still tacky to tell your guests what to give you. Of course, bridal registries were created to make it easier for people to help the couple stock their new home. And since many couples live together these days, they do not need sheets, towels or dishes, hence the honeymoon websites. But a honeymoon used to be a personal, romantic gift from the bride and groom to each other. Aunt Mildred shouldn’t be paying for it. We say get them whatever you want.