Try quiet reflection
I don’t know if our whole culture is obsessed with assigning guilt to individuals and groups, but that is the impression I get when I flip through the channels of our basic cable service. And looking elsewhere in the world, “who is guilty (other than me)?” seems to be the predominant interest all around.
Could this be due to the fact that we all feel guilty about hidden aspects of our lives, and finding someone else to point the finger at distracts us from the hard work of confronting our own mistakes and from seeing the need to correct them?
Is that why so many religious practices encourage being still, so that we stop looking outward and instead look at what is inside, and acknowledge the need to clean up that mess, and then commit to cleaning it up?
Coming from a Christian background, I am reminded of what Jesus said: “The judgment you give out is exactly what you will get back” (Matthew 7:2). Staying distracted seems dangerous.
I would not advocate becoming a monk, but with a little time spent in quiet reflection and resolving to correct what needs correction, our relationships can’t but improve.