Dear Annie: I need advice on how to tactfully uninvite relatives to a gathering. A few weeks ago, I casually mentioned to my husband that I’d like to have a special outing with our sons. It’s my youngest boy’s birthday, and I suggested an overnight stay at a resort. Along the way, we could stop at my husband’s brother’s house and have a small cake-and-ice-cream celebration with his brother, sister-in-law and young nephew. The next thing I know, he has invited his brother’s family to join us at the resort.
Aside from the fact that I wanted this outing to be just the four of us, there is an additional problem. My older son is autistic. My husband and I will have a hard enough time accommodating his needs while trying to have a good time. And my sister-in-law can be rude. She makes nasty remarks when you disagree with her.
I want this to be our family time. We can invite the others for a different gathering. How should I tell them it will not work out? – Don’t Want To Be Stuck With Them
Dear Don’t: Your husband should handle this. After all, it’s his brother – not to mention, Hubby was the one who invited them without checking with you. He can say he thinks the overnight stay would be best with just the four of you, and he hopes they will understand the need for family time. But he should add that you are all looking forward to seeing them to celebrate your son’s birthday.