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Spokane, Washington  Est. May 19, 1883

Trip could bust bridesmaid’s budget

Kathy Mitchell

Dear Annie: My daughter is a bridesmaid for a sorority sister’s fall wedding. She bought her dress, and the bridal shower is planned.

The bride’s younger sister is her maid of honor. Since she is under 21, she will not be able to get into bars. So the bride decided she wants to go out of state for the bachelorette party for two days. The cost is $350 per person, but it doesn’t include meals or gasoline for the 11-hour car trip that no one has offered to drive yet.

Needless to say, this is way over her budget, but my daughter feels she has no alternative. I’ve heard that other bridesmaids also feel this is excessive but won’t speak up at this late date. Isn’t this asking a lot? Are there no limitations to expenses once you agree to be in the wedding party? – Not Made Out of Money in Maryland

Dear Maryland: Brides have been known to go overboard with their financial demands on attendants. Your daughter should have spoken up early on. Now, her choice is to pay up, back out of the bachelorette party or back out of the obligation to stand up altogether, allowing the bride to choose someone more eager to part with the money. Once she speaks up, the others may, too.

Dear Annie: I read the complaint from “Frustrated,” the woman whose friend does not drive. In our area, transportation services are offered at low cost. The services in the Los Angeles area are Dial a Ride and Access. Both are great. “Frustrated” can then offer her driving service on her terms. It also will give her friend the feeling of independence. – Been There in California

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@ comcast.net, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.