August 19, 2013 in Features

The Slice: Thank you, may I have another?

By The Spokesman-Review
 

Before we decide that you need therapy, please check out the following behavioral profile.

Is this you?

It’s night. You and your spouse, significant other or roommate are talking about snacks.

The two of you are in agreement. Having something to eat would be a good thing — a very good thing.

But what?

You keep vetoing his or her suggestions. You wait for inspiration, wait for the emergence of the perfect snack-food concept.

Finally, your spouse, significant other or roommate wearies of floating proposals that just get shot down. He or she repairs to the kitchen to fix something regardless of your failure to endorse the plan.

When asked if you want any, you grumble that it’s not really what you crave.

Then, a few minutes later, the other person comes back into the TV room with the snack. Because he or she is polite, that person asks if you would like a taste. Not wishing to be rude, you unenthusiastically take a bite.

It’s not bad.

Before long, your spouse, significant other or roommate is forced to note that you have now poached approximately 51 percent of the total snackage volume — and this after indicating you didn’t want any.

Do you need counseling?

Nah. But next time, remember to say “Yes, I would love some.”

Four on the floor: 1. Diane Stutzman suggested that those who believe landscaping that does not require watering cannot be beautiful simply don’t know what they are talking about.

2. Jeff Bergman doesn’t understand why a grocery receipt listing three or four purchases has to be a foot and a half long.

3. Ray Blowers would be delighted to offer some frank feedback over the phone to those responsible for unwanted sales calls. But it’s not that simple. “You can’t communicate with them because the calls are computer generated.”

4. “Pinki” Culbertson wouldn’t want to give up her nickname, which a classmate gave her in sixth grade. She said most of her friends don’t even know her real name. (It’s Janet.)

Today’s Slice question: What did it sound like when your bike got a flat tire?

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Mary Ann Barney once worked for a school principal who would write “Your the best!” on his annual evaluations of her. She did not correct him.

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