August 20, 2013 in Features

Gift is for couple, not for reception

Kathy Mitchell
 

Dear Annie: My niece was married at city hall nearly two years ago. My wife and I attended the ceremony, and afterward, we went to lunch. Two weeks later, they had a small catered reception at his grandmother’s house. My wife and I attended and gave them a card with a check. Now they want to have their wedding blessed in a church. I think that’s great, except they are having another reception, this time at a banquet hall with all the bells and whistles. Since we already gave a card and a check at the first reception, are we obligated to give another? If so, how much? I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. – Confused About the Etiquette

Dear Confused: You aren’t giving a gift in honor of a reception. You are giving a wedding gift to the couple. Since you already have done so, you are under no obligation to present them with another. However, if you feel obligated to bring something to the latest reception, it could be a small gift with sentiment attached, such as a framed photograph of the couple.

Dear Annie: I feel compelled to write to “Can’t Believe Adults Act This Way,” whose daughter is being bullied by other teachers at her school. You suggested the main bully craves power and control, thinks the daughter is a threat and could be insecure.

This is happening to me right now. I am a veteran teacher of 29 years. The principal is indeed as you described. She has wanted me gone for the past four years and has made outrageous accusations that I have had to defend with the union.

I realized, also, that this was draining my energy to teach. My advice for this first-year teacher is to look for a new job where she feels comfortable and can teach and do what she is trained for and not waste her energy on bullies. She sounds like a promising teacher who needs to be planted in fertile soil where she can flourish. – Looking for Something Better


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