August 27, 2013 in Features

She’s uncomfortable being touched

Kathy Mitchell
 

Dear Annie: I am 46 years old and have one problem. I HATE sex.

Everyone, including my boyfriend of seven years, thinks there’s something wrong with me. I’m sure there is, but I have hated having sex since I was first intimate. I can’t believe he has stayed with me this long.

I don’t like to be touched by anyone. As soon as someone gets close, I move away so they don’t accidentally brush against me. I force myself to have sex with my boyfriend and pretend I enjoy it because I know it’s not fair to deny him. But the whole time we are being intimate, I’m thinking, “Is this ever going to end?” What is wrong with me? – Maryland Miss

Dear Maryland: Sex should be a pleasurable activity. There are people who are disinterested or ambivalent about sex. But someone who dislikes being touched may have psychological issues that were not resolved or sensory issues that were never addressed. We commend you for being willing to work on this. Please talk to your doctor and also contact AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists) at aasect.org. They may be able to guide you toward a healthier, happier outlook.

Dear Annie: Please tell “Need Help,” the teenager who has mood swings, that most teachers check their email throughout the summer and during school vacations. No matter when it is, most of us are just an email away. We still care about our students, regardless of whether it’s summertime, winter vacation or spring break. That letter broke my heart. It sounds like a student I had this year. I hope he emails me. – Teacher in Louisville, Ky.

Annie’s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to anniesmailbox@ comcast.net.

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