Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 11 years. My first husband died, and my grown children love “Davis” as a father.
Davis is a wonderful man who took care of his kids when they were little, while his wife moved them around the country to follow a married man with whom she was having an affair. A bitter divorce followed, after which his ex turned the children against him. She married a wealthy man who gave them expensive things with the expectation that they would end their relationship with their father. Davis has managed to maintain a connection with his son, but although he has reached out to his daughter repeatedly, she has only responded a couple of times.
I recently learned that his daughter will be married next spring. I know it will break Davis’ heart when he finds out that he was not informed. He believes that after all these years, his daughter loves him and will come around before she marries, giving him the honor of walking her down the aisle. What is the best way for him to hear this news? I don’t want him to find out from a well-meaning person who thinks he knows. – Wondering in N.C.
Dear Wondering: You should tell Davis what you heard and how you found out. But please don’t turn it into a tragedy just yet. Next spring is still several months away, and Davis’ daughter may have had every intention of informing her father about the upcoming wedding. The most honest and classiest thing to do would be for Davis to call his daughter and say he heard the good news and give her his very best wishes. If he is expected or wants to help pay for the wedding, this would be the time to offer. The rest is up to her. We hope she will indeed come around.