The Slice: That wasn’t the train’s whistle you just heard
Jeff Nadeau knows he snores.
So when he took the train from Spokane to Seattle in the middle of the night, he was worried about falling asleep and making a startling amount of noise. But he quickly realized the guy sitting behind him would be providing the soundtrack for their train car.
“As he fell deeper into sleep, his snores were soon alternated with similar sounds of a different origin,” said Nadeau. “Each loud exhalation was followed by a loud expulsion from the other end of his torso.”
Not wishing to add to this cacophony, Nadeau redoubled his commitment to staying awake.
“It was a long night, but at least I didn’t suffer from any embarrassment.”
After her goose was cooked (decades ago): “I was highly embarrassed that there was barely enough meat on this fat bird for one person, let alone four,” wrote Dianne Cook.
Your social media policy for 2014: “Same as 2013,” wrote Gary Polser. “Don’t want it. Don’t need it.”
Regarding the possibility that not all kids are amazing: “I suppose that if there are any kids that are not amazing, then both sets of grandparents must be deceased,” wrote Dave Wolfe. “All of our grandkids are amazing.”
Helen Peterson has a newspaper clipping in her scrapbook that features this saying: “The world is run by ‘C’ students.”
Re: The local nudist who encountered several other Spokane area residents at a nudist resort in Phoenix: Sherry Hutchison took issue with his likening the experience to a family reunion. “His idea of a family reunion is not common,” she wrote. “Maybe he should have said it was like old home week.”
And in the matter of the moral of the story, she suggested, “Snowbirds without feathers will still flock together.”
Slice answer: Jeffrey Neuberger’s father was a law enforcement officer in South Dakota. He hid family Christmas gifts in the jail.
Today’s Slice question: Are you ever too old to be read bedtime stories?
Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email email@example.com. I’ve already been invited to a Super Bowl party, so I suppose there is no doubt that 2014 really is on its way.