Features

The Slice: Don’t read too much into it

Paul Turner, Spokesman-Review columnist. (The Spokesman-Review)
Paul Turner, Spokesman-Review columnist. (The Spokesman-Review)

If you are content with a traditional pre-holiday greeting, you can skip this first item.

But if you might be interested in having something new to say as we approach Jan. 1, read on.

“It was a couple of years ago at this time of the season when my daughter Kiara, now 10 years old, would hone her reading skills by occasionally reciting billboards and signs while we were driving,” wrote Frank Meland.

One time, when they were on Sprague in Spokane Valley, Kiara blurted “Have a preposterous New Year!”

Her dad didn’t understand until he caught sight of a sign saying “Have a Prosperous New Year.”

Meland has had plenty of time to consider it. And he has decided he likes his daughter’s version better.

You don’t kid people you don’t like: Shortly before the start of Christmas break, the students in a local middle school classroom were being so unruly the teacher was about at her wit’s end. So she strode to the big board and wrote “I quit…I need a new job.”

“That got the kids’ attention,” said the teacher’s sister.

What followed was a focused brainstorming session addressing the theme: For what new job should she aim?

The students came up with nurse, cop, trash collector and mail carrier, among others.

But the underlying theme of all this was that the kids didn’t really want the teacher to change careers.

Slice answer: Hayden’s Karen Botker saw the question about whether one is ever too old to be read a bedtime story.

“I just turned 48, and my dad (Bill Kaufman, he writes you too) still kisses me good night each night when he goes to bed (he lives with us). Also, since I go to bed earlier than my honey, he will frequently come ‘tuck me in.’ This routine involves him lying on the bed next to me with a handheld solitaire game. When he wins a game, he turns the volume on and plays the victory song for me while doing a little arm dance with the game. That always makes me smile and has become my bedtime lullaby.”

Today’s Slice question: Do you have a relative who doubts the veracity of 95 percent of your family’s cherished stories?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Always leave your real name and a daytime phone number.


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