The Slice: Should’ve been better groomed

Many hereabouts are familiar with the story of young Henry J. Kaiser coming to Spokane from back East more than a 100 years ago to make something of himself and prove to his future father-in-law that he wasn’t just some bum.

He succeeded, of course, and went on to become a mega-industrialist.

But it’s too bad Spokane never figured out how to market itself as the nation’s marriage-material proving ground.

What could the city’s slogan have been?

Kitchen error: “I wonder if any of your readers have put a dollop of liquid egg whites into their morning coffee instead of 2 percent milk,” wrote Jack Newcomb.

Changing of the guard: “There is nothing like a lapful of cat on a cold winter’s night while trying to work the crossword puzzle or read a book,” wrote Judy Hartman. “One night this past week, I started out with a black cat in my lap, and must have dozed off, and woke up with the black-and-white one curled up there. I wasn’t even aware they had switched places.”

Reasons against trying to organize The Review Tower Winter Classic (contestants would be timed as they ascend the stairwell from the basement to the seventh floor): 1. Too easy for the truly fit. 2. Wear and tear on the edges of the steps. 3. Liability issues. 4. Could give the building a funky smell. 5. Security issues. 6. Better to stage the event at a taller building. 7. Not sure how I would respond to “So you’ve got this elegant tower that’s perfect for a graphic and yet there’s no participant T-shirt?” 8. Probably a fire code violation. 9. What to do about spectators? 10. If a few entrants experienced exertion-induced vomiting, the custodial staff would never speak to me again.

Slice quiz: What does the following song lyric have to do with the newspaper industry?

“But February made me shiver.”

Warm-up question: How would people react if you yelled “Balk!” in a meeting?

Today’s Slice question: We all know about March supposedly coming in like a lion and going out like a lamb. But what about February? What should be this month’s animal bookends?