February 9, 2013 in Features

The Slice: Somewhere in this story is a joke about the seat

By The Spokesman-Review
 

Let’s kiss and tell.

Gabi Tilley was 12 when a new boy in school passed her a note in class. It inquired about her interest in locking lips. She green-lighted the proposal.

The boy, whose name was Ron, suggested that they meet at a recreation center in the Colorado trailer park where they both lived. Once there, they ducked into the restroom for privacy.

“He was so tall that I had to stand on the toilet for the kiss,” said Tilley. “Not very romantic.”

That relationship went nowhere. But Tilley wound up marrying another Ron, and they have been together more than 30 years.

Next. “I first learned about the lingual factor in osculation the night of the annual pep rally bonfire and freshman initiation, riding with a bunch of other 14-year-olds in the back seat of a car driven by a parent,” wrote Dick Warwick. “Thank you, Susie. I’ll never forget it. It was certainly an initiation.”

A boy at Sunday school took the liberty of kissing Marion Daines on the cheek. “Leonard kissed me,” she reported when she got home.

She thought that was pretty neat. But her teenage uncle had a field day with the idea of Marion getting kissed at Sunday school and soon she regretted saying anything about it.

Back in the 1990s, when she was in seventh grade, Shireen Brigman finally let her pining boyfriend smooch her. They were near their school.

The school secretary happened to be outside at the time and yelled at the amorous couple from a distance, directing them to knock it off. But when Brigman looked toward the secretary she noticed that the woman was laughing as she headed back into the school. Somehow, that was even more embarrassing than actually getting in trouble for carnal misadventure.

One more. “My first kiss with my now-husband was indeed forbidden,” wrote Mary Jean Tranfo. “He asked me to kiss him but I put him off (because I was dating someone else) by telling him that I wouldn’t kiss him unless he stopped smoking. So he stopped smoking, I stopped dating the other guy and we’ve been married for almost 30 years.”

Today’s Slice question: Who holds the Spokane area record for dropping the TV remote the most?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Jeannie Maki said what kindergartners like is snacks.


Thoughts and opinions on this story? Click here to comment >>

Get stories like this in a free daily email