February 14, 2013 in Features

The Slice: You can’t miss that large rack

By The Spokesman-Review
 

Displayed on the front of Cheryl Fries’ home in Bonners Ferry is a large set of elk antlers.

Well, her family took the rack down to accommodate house painting.

And some of the neighbors got nervous. “They use our house as a marking spot for directions to their homes,” wrote Fries.

Not to worry. The elk antlers went back up.

Said Fries, “I love telling people how to get to my house: Just go down Highway 2 until you get to the ‘horny’ house on the north side.”

Laundry Mishaps Department: Kenny Hall reports that it is bad when a lipstick makes its way into the dryer with a load of wash. “All your clothes end up with little red marks like you were stabbed a hundred times.”

Slice answer: One of my regular correspondents saw the question about adding “in bed” to the end of fortune cookie messages.

“No, I’ve never heard of that,” she wrote. “But I once read a novel where teenage girls were adding it to hymn titles and having hard time containing their giggles during the church service. Try it with some of these titles: ‘Abide With Me,’ ‘Are Ye Able?’, ‘How Great Thou Art,’ ‘Glorious Things of Thee Are Spoken,’ ‘I Need Thee Every Hour,’ ‘Mine Eyes Have Seen the Glory,’ ‘Only Trust Him,’ or ‘What Wondrous Love Is This?’ ”

She asked that I not use her name on this occasion because she is, as she put it, “a pillar of the Methodist Church.”

Wonder if anyone ever has been described as “a pillar of the Methodist Church in bed.”

Perhaps Slice readers know: David Erickson wonders if anyone who appeared on the local talent show, “Starlit Stairway,” ever went on to make a living in showbiz.

Now he can check that off: A gentleman in his 80s wrote to say that getting something printed in The Slice was an unfulfilled goal on his bucket list. But his name rang a bell. So, after checking the archives, I was able to inform him that he had, in fact, been in my column. Three times. It was back in 2003 and 2004.

Today’s Slice question: Why don’t men read romance novels?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. D.G. Chamberlain wants The Slice to declare Sunday to be Take Your Holiday Decorations Down and Put Them Away Day.


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