Dear Annie: Our daughter, “Mattie,” is 42 years old. She has been married for 10 years and has two school-age children. Due to her husband’s work transfers, Mattie twice was left alone with the children for several months while she tried to sell the house and her husband moved to the new location.
The first time it happened, things worked out OK, but the second time, Mattie started drinking quite heavily. We didn’t find out until she had seizures, lost a lot of weight and ended up in the hospital close to death with severe liver damage. She pulled out of it, but now we worry that she might be in the same situation. We visited her over the holidays and suspect she has started drinking again. She also seems very depressed.
Her husband doesn’t seem to recognize the problem. As parents, do we get involved? If so, do we confront Mattie or talk to her husband? – Terrified for Our Daughter
Dear Terrified: Please don’t be afraid to speak to Mattie if you think she is drinking again. It is a serious matter, both physically and emotionally, and needs to be addressed. You also should speak to her husband. He may be doing more than you realize, or he may be in denial or completely oblivious. Contact Al-Anon (al-anon.alateen.org) for assistance and suggestions.
Dear Annie: “Want To Do the Right Thing” wants to celebrate his parents’ 50th anniversary but can’t afford the restaurant and wants guests to pay for their own meals.
We all want things we cannot afford. Most parents would not enjoy knowing their children are depriving themselves for a big party. Instead, arrange for a nice family photo that would be treasured. Then take your parents out to a lovely lunch or dinner. – R.