February 22, 2013 in Features

The Slice: Time for a more balanced diet?

By The Spokesman-Review
 

If you see someone who appears to be listing to one side, there could be a simple explanation.

That person might have been at the grocery store not long ago. And wanting to be able to maneuver around aisle-blockers, he or she chose a hand-basket and wound up carrying 90 pounds of stuff in it.

Happy George Washington’s birthday: I wish I could do a “Bewitched” nose-twitch and send every Slice reader a cherry pie.

Of course, there is disagreement about what constitutes a truly excellent cherry pie. So, for the sake of argument, here is my ruling.

Not too sweet. (Shouldn’t taste like a plate of syntho-sugar.)

Homemade pastry crust. (Assuming the baker knows what she/he is doing.)

No cherry pits. (Naturally.)

High cherries-to-red-glop ratio. (You want it to stand up and not become a puddle on your plate.)

A certain kind of tube: Cleavage-spotting has long been part of watching the Academy Awards on television.

But sometimes viewers are unsure about what to say. “Yowzah”? Nah. “Cowabunga”? Nope. “Yabba dabba do”? No.

You want to take note, but don’t want to offend any of those watching the show with you.

So here are a few G-rated options. A) “Good heavens.” B) “My, my, my.” C) “We’re going to need a bigger boat.” D) “That young lady is going to catch her death.” E) “Fake.” F) “Well, I’ll be.” G) “Now that’s entertainment.” H) “Heavens to Murgatroid.” I) “Land o’ Goshen.” J) “Mercy.” K) “Jumping Jehosaphat.” L) “Ramma- lamma-ding-dong.” M) “Ring-a-ding-ding.” N) “Hell-o.” O) “Ho-lee…” P) “Mama Mia.” Q) “Talk about shelf space.” R) “Dive! Dive! Dive!” S) “I never have understood women’s clothing sizes.” T) “Tsunami.” U) “She’s dressed for success.” V) “Look at all that talent.” W) “What a lovely expression.” X) “Egads.” Y) “Hee Haw!” Z) “Born free.”

Warm-up question: How has it been to share a birthday with George Washington?

Today’s Slice question: If the state of Washington had been named after someone else, who would have been a logical candidate for that honor?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Name some aspect of life that was way better in the previous century.


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