February 23, 2013 in Features

The Slice: Don’t miss an opportunity to take the inside edge

By The Spokesman-Review

It has been said that a man who can dance has a real advantage when it comes to making a favorable impression on women.

That might be true. I wouldn’t know. I can’t dance anywhere except the kitchen.

But I can ice skate. And long ago that ability was the catalyst for some enjoyable dates.

I bring this up because the Ice Palace at Riverfront Park wraps up its season next weekend. Young squires interested in a skating date downtown should shake a leg.

Why? Allow me to explain, guys.

Q: Why would it be a good date (not that anyone actually uses the term “date” anymore)?

A: It’s a wholesome, fun activity, if you don’t fall and break something. And if you are a strong skater and she isn’t, you can “help” her.

Q: What’s with the quotation marks?

A: Well, in reaching to steady her, you might find yourself with a totally legitimate excuse to essentially embrace. You can rescue her with your strong, sure hands.

Q: Isn’t that a bit cheesy?

A: Not if you don’t abuse your hands-on access. Think catch-and-release. Don’t grope — especially if you both go down in a heap.

Q: What if she is a better skater than I am?

A: Then you can show that you are secure in your masculinity and demonstrate that you have a sense of humor and are a good sport.

Q: By falling on my rear end?

A: Sure. If she gets the idea that you are happy simply to be spending time with her, well, that’s a good thing.

Q: What if she falls on the ice?

A: Express concern and offer to help her up. But don’t take liberties brushing off snow. Wait to be invited.

Q: What if I can’t arrange this by next weekend?

A: Check out Eagles Ice-A-Rena on the North Side.

Q: Any final advice?

A: If you are an experienced skater but she is a novice, insisting that she wear a helmet is a good idea on a couple different levels.

Warm-up question: How often do Idaho residents forget that theirs is a two time-zone state?

Today’s Slice question (finish this sentence): “I will consider it to have been a good weekend if … .”

Write The Slice at P. O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Vince Eberly suggested that one place to look for the smartest people in Spokane would be the upcoming high school Knowledge Bowl tournament.

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