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The Slice: New in town? You’ll learn to love to hate it

Sun., Feb. 24, 2013, midnight

I wonder how many newcomers have experienced this.

You move here full of excitement and optimism about the area and soon discover that complaining about Spokane is the favorite pastime of many you meet.

Slice answer: “The smartest people in Spokane can be found in Coeur d’Alene,” said Cheryl Miller.

If the blue jeans you wore when you were 18 would fit you now, it might be that … : A) You can take pride in staying fit. B) You are really annoying. C) You have been very ill and don’t have much longer. D) You won the genetics/metabolism lottery. E) You were a tubby teen. F) You are 19 right now. G) You are hungry all the time. H) You were rail thin then. You are rail thin now. I) You used to wear them so loose they rode halfway down your butt. J) Other.

Just wondering: How many guys starting new jobs in the Spokane area begin by wearing a necktie every day but soon abandon that practice?

Tweaking: Self-proclaimed “old English major” Carol Stueckle says it should be “Near to nature, nearly perfect.”

Slice answers: “Pets on the bed — yes or no?” wrote Sandy Wall. “It’s not for us to decide. Our dog makes that decision.”

“Cats never,” said Ray Blowers. “But we have a yellow Lab that used to jump right up on the king-sized bed at bedtime until he was too old and fat to jump. Even snored a bit. But Labs are special, like kids and grandkids.”

Keri Yirak has a new kitten that isn’t satisfied to just sleep on the bed. “It wants to sleep on my face.”

To the point: Retiree Bill Mahaney said the word that best describes his daily to-do list is “laconic.”

Today’s Slice question: The Austin American-Statesman, a daily newspaper in Texas, makes a declaration on its front page every day: “Real Austin. Real News.”

Well, everybody knows there are countless definitions of “news.” And residents of the Lone Star State can decide for themselves what is or isn’t authentic Austin.

But if we were to localize this, what would you say?

What qualifies as “Real Spokane”?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email Some explanations for accidents befalling childhood piggy banks were at variance with the truth.

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