January 7, 2013 in Features

The Slice: No choice but to leak this story

By The Spokesman-Review
 

Curt Olsen had an idea for a Slice question.

What was the most unfortunate collision of cellphone ring tone and location?

He had an answer, too.

“My nomination comes from a personal experience a couple months ago in a Costco restroom,” he wrote. “Guy at the urinal next to me had an incoming call. Tone was Maxwell the Pig from the Geico commercials.”

You know, the peppy little carpool porker who goes “Weeeee weeee weee we!” all the way home.

“True story,” said Olsen. “At least the poor guy was visibly desperate to get his phone silenced. Made it pretty obvious whose phone was ringing.”

“Weeeee weeee weee we!”

Nature calling.

Confirmation names that could be tweaked to be your pole-dancer moniker: “I am old enough that I was confirmed back in the day when the rite took place in the fourth or fifth grade,” wrote Tina Johnson of Coeur d’Alene. “I chose ‘Blaise’ as my confirmation name as I was born on Feb. 3, his feast day. My husband has commented that with a slight respelling of the name, perhaps I could have had a stint at Stateline years ago.”

The 39 steps: The Slice’s skepticism about Evergreen State residents’ ability to name every county in Washington reminded Lynn Onley of a family story.

Before spring break in 2006, Onley’s husband – a man she fondly characterizes as having Clark Griswold tendencies – came up with a bold plan. The family would pile into their new Toyota Sienna (now approaching 200,000 miles) and visit every county in Washington. And they would get a photo of the three kids in front of each county seat courthouse. All 39.

“And that’s what we did,” said Onley. “Starting with Newport.”

The children were in seventh, ninth, and 11th grade at the time. They were not totally thrilled about the expedition back then. “But it is now one of our favorite memories,” said Onley.

Today’s Slice question: If you do the right thing and pull your car over before making a phone call, do you ever wonder if people in the neighborhood are asking themselves if you are a burglar casing the block?

Write The Slice at P.O. Box 2160, Spokane, WA 99210; call (509) 459-5470; email pault@spokesman.com. Bob Beare says multiple Subaru Outbacks constitute a swarm.


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